Tag Archives: yougotthis

Where did it come from?

I believe one of the hardest things for us humans to control is our emotions.

How we feel in turn affects how we think, which affects our actions.

Out of nowhere, we can find ourselves in this “questionable state.”

That’s a really scary feeling but this post is meant to bring awareness to fragileness of our mind and hearts and give us a solution to the issue.

As a young believer not having control of our emotions can bring us to a state of doublemindedness.

I used to be afraid of that word because anytime I read it or it was mentioned in a service I almost immediately felt guilty and unworthy.

Recently, I started to hear the word again.

Realizing my response to it had changed.

As a new believer feeling like this can really steer you away from the power of God.

Originally, my response to those feelings would simply be to shut down and close my heart from receiving anything God had to show me.

At church tonight we closed off our series titled “it ain’t cute no more…acting like a baby.”

I mention this because though I didn’t realize it this connects to what God put on my heart to share, it is 100% accurate.

Let me break it down.

The word challenges me and my thoughts.

When I hear the word it challenges my mind, my perspective, and my way.

Depending on where you at when you hear the word, it could stir something up in you.

The intention is that it stirs you up in a way that draws you nearer to him.

But being human we struggle with this.

Know the struggle is real and HE wants you to need him…

Needing him actually draws you deeper and gives you a fuller understanding of who you are in HIM.

Which in turn gives you your true identity, not the one that tells you…. you’ll never be enough.

Yes it calls you out of your place of comfort and complacency and calls you into a PURPOSE.

You see hearing the word is meant to bring clarity into our lives, not confusion.

Acting like a baby is sitting in this place of condemnation and not grace.

Hearing the word with condemnation in the back of your mind can really mess up the message and the intent in which it is given.

Which is to restore hope.

HE challenges us so we can grow in HIM.

In those moments when I felt guilty and unworthy, I never challenged it.

Maybe I didn’t feel strong enough at the time.

I honestly felt like I had no chance.

You see somewhere along the line we are taught that we are not enough…

Our God though is so awesome that he sticks with us through it all.

I remember challenging my doublemindedness…

I felt like a crazy fool, to be honest.

But what I realize today is that I was in a battle for my mind and peace.

Today,  when I feel like that I seriously push into the feeling and unravel the lie that I believed and I give it to God.

Because I don’t know what to do with it.

What I noticed is it doesn’t last as long when I surrender and use the power that God entrusted me and you with.

I’ve learned that in those feelings of discomfort I am only asked to seek him.

I love that HE IS so accessible not just sometimes but all the time.

Please remember that HE will always love you.

And that loving you means that HE will never leave you.

Your emotions do not run you and neither does your mind.

If you are struggling with your mind and emotions bring it to HIM.

Fully dig deeper with him and find the root of the feeling.

HE will know how to help you through that emotion, feeing and moment.

If you need further help please free to do more than just read this post.

I would love to pray with anyone who needs it.

Don’t accept anything that makes you feel alone because that is not HIS intention.


You’re the Only One

Last May, I wrote a post titled  the greatest love letter of my life in it I ended with the following

If I could give you one thing to replace all the many things it would be a mirror so you can truly see what it is you look like .

At the time I had no idea what I looked like.

I wrote that only a few short months after I decided that I had no hope.

I remember sitting at a coffee shop a lot like the one I am sitting at right now telling God that if he didn’t do something I would be “done.” No plan for a future whatsoever.

I use the word done to describe the place and state of mind I was at, but it might be downplaying the state of hopeless my heart was in.

I had no emotion, no connection to people or to life.

I didn’t share that with anyone either.

I sat with that feeling, but internally I might have been more afraid than I let on to be.

I have never felt so disengaged in my life.

I also didn’t realize at the time I gave God the power to take over my life.

At the time I had no plans for the future

Luckily God did…

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


I asked God in the middle my struggle to do something because I couldn’t do anything.

The reality is I’ve learned that God does not give his heart in pieces.

I still have no idea where it is God is taking me but today he has taken me to this moment to reflect and share that he is there in it all, and through it all.

I can’t possibly express in one post all that he has done in this time. He has tested me and given me obedience. In ways I couldn’t possibly have imagined.

Rewired: Give yourself permission to fall in love.

Giving God permission is not for God it’s for you.

I have to ask myself where do I begin and I believe that we need to begin with permission slips.

Yes, I’m taking us back to elementary school here but the truth is we don’t invite God in enough.

Let me say that once more…

We don’t invite God in enough.

I can recall moments throughout 2018, where I could have drawn closer to God but instead, I withdrew completely.

Though, I needed him I choose differently.

Reflecting on that now, I believe it was out of fear that I didn’t choose him.

Interestingly, out of fear we should choose him.

I say that because I am afraid of what life looks like without him.

I know that without him I am not a lot of things but because of him I have love, strength, purpose, hope, faith, and a direction.

Not choosing him time after time left me feeling completely shattered desperately searching for something tangible.

I was searching in all the wrong places still feeling empty in the end.

I always felt alone.

My heart was closed off.

I loved people more than I loved myself.

I loved people more than I loved God.

I spoke to people more than I spoke to God.

Clearly, my hope and my faith were not in God but in man.

This was a big realization for me and I believe that in my walk with Christ this insight will help me check not only my motives but my emotions.

What does giving God permission to look like for a believer?

For a person who is lost without direction.

For a person who believes they are broken beyond repair.

For a person who constantly feels like they are less than or inadequate.

For a person who feels left out more than they feel included.

Giving God permission is the equivalent to…

Giving yourself permission to find direction, to be healed, to know you are enough, and to belong.

What I am describing is not some utopian type world but it’s the life you choose when you choose to give God complete access.

Which really means Giving yourself permission to put God first to grant him complete access to your mind, body, and spirit.

I say this often times in my groups, as a peer counselor… I never challenge anyone to go anywhere that I have never been.

A part of my rewiring process had to do with intentionally asking God to come into those places that I was the most afraid of restoration.

As I was worshiping this last Friday I had this image of God carrying me from 2018 to 2019. I began to tear up a bit.

You see last year I would often find myself going to a place that I didn’t belong after services.

I would have this back-and-forth conversation with God like I hear you, but I’m still going to do what I want to do anyway.

I gave myself permission to do things that didn’t align with my heart.

At the end that hurt me the most.

I was always disappointed in myself.

Every time I chose my way I would in inadvertently reinforce the belief system that made me feel so less than and not good enough.

That same belief system made me believe that God would never be able to make me whole, joyful, or peaceful.

I would never be enough.

I would never belong.

I would never truly believe because if I did why did I keep choosing a life that didn’t align with my heart.

In 2018, I asked God to come in my heart more.

The conversation wasn’t simple either.

I didn’t just say Dear God, Please come into my heart Amen.

That wasn’t real to me.

It wasn’t deep enough for me.

I needed to press into God.

These areas I needed him to come into were broken for years now a two-second prayer wouldn’t do it for me…

He is able to do anything and that prayer would work…

But for me I needed something real, I needed something deeper.

I needed to go where I was afraid with him.

God carried me into the new year saying that life is not yours.

I cried because I saw him carry me away from the life I once lived.

The same life that made me hopeless.

He carried me away from a broken road and gave me love, joy, hope, purpose to say the least.

My life has direction.

I seek him daily and I am working on seeking him more in daily moments.

I noticed that for me in order to have a breakthrough I need to intentionally invite God into the places I am afraid of.

Once again getting rewired is really about allowing God to create a new in you.

Just a warning…It requires us to fall in love. Give yourself permission to be loved and made whole. Stay the course and allow him to do the navigating. But speak to him. Press in deep enough for a longlasting connection. Don’t be superficial he wants more for us than fake connection. Allow for real intimacy with him. Invite him in.





δύναμη- Rewired

The first word is a greek translation of strength. I came across this word this last year as I prepared a short devo. I had no idea that I would soon be tested on the topic in which I had to discuss. It’s interesting how that happens. The topic I specifically spoke about was even though… meaning even though things happen God is able. I think when I first spoke about it I didn’t understand it as much as I understand it today. See the rewired part of this post comes from what God is able to do if you ask him. I always want to caution people that prayer is powerful and to be careful what you pray for. Over the last two year I prayed for wholeness, and for barriers to be broken. Today I find God using me in ways I never thought possible, restoring places I thought were long broken. I’ve learned more tangibly what it’s like to trust God even though things around you can convince you not to.  I’ve had to seek comfort in the greatest comforter of all and feel rested and hopeful. That’s something I never had before but I became hopeful the day I asked him for strength and began to embrace who I am made to be. The Rewired process is so important to me and growth with God because its changing everything I’ve ever known to be true and replacing it with his truth. I remember process for me I was worshipping when I began to feel unworthy of worshipping God. I had to fight that feeling because it kept me from worshiping. I remember listening to the lyrics and really pressing into the meaning proclaiming God’s goodness and my identity in him.  Finding her strength is about finding her identity in Christ and allowing the rewire to slowly happen. I am still working on the set up of the blog but Finding Her Dýnami is really just a love story about how God seriously goes to places for you and with you. I don’t have a roadmap entirely but I do have tips on how to let God in more when you have a difficult time doing it for whatever reason. Read if you want. I just promise you that I’ll always be honest and transparent.


Our emotions. His purpose. My objective

It’s interesting to see how emotions run every single one of us.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of thoughts and emotions lately.

I find it interesting that though I know how to manage my thoughts, at times they still get me.

I’ve been inviting God into those moments, because I know that what I am feeling isn’t his objective.

He’s been calling me to serve, yet I’m feeling as if I am not good enough.

It’s weird because I almost feel as if I heard someone say that I was fake.

For a minute I began to think they were talking about me.

I began to feel insecure.

The very next day I had convinced myself that another person of the group felt the same way because they walked right past me.

Like that the place I felt comfortable became the place I didn’t belong.

To be honest that hurt.

I wish I would have realized that regardless of the reality of the situation, God wants me to choose him.

I think that by overhearing a conversation that was or wasn’t intended for me. I realized the power of words, more so than before.

However I also realized that in my pain and hurt God wants me to choose him first.

I did choose him in this situation but after two days of being in my feelings.

If I’d choose God first more, things would change.

My emotions wouldn’t run me but God would.

He takes my emotions and experiences and gives them purpose.

In 1 Peter 1 exiles had be chosen to be used by God. They endured a lot. They were given something new and good. God didn’t go and erase what they had gone through but he gave what they have gone through a purpose. Their purpose was to show how good God is in the mist of those trials.

What we go through in life is about ups and downs. But there is something beautiful about God being in both parts. I have fallen before and not realized that he is everywhere so the rebuilding process looked a lot like me struggling to get back up. While getting up with God is like having a really good friend there to listen and help you make sense of things.

Though people may lose it all at times.It is good to know that God is with us. He rebuilds, and restores.

I reflected on that a few days ago no matter how big the trial or how small it may seem choose God first and he will guide you through the trial.


Dear God, thank you for staying by side until I was able to see that were there waiting for me to choose you first. Thank you being patient as I learn to seek you everyday. The new you are giving me is beautiful God I am not sure I would be able to live without it. I pray that I just continue to constantly seek you in everything that is good and everything that is bad. I love you, amen.

Part 2: Be Still

Clock Gears 01_preview1

My life is always on the go. It’s my profession and honestly my way of life. This morning as I rose. I heard the words be still.

I know exactly where these words came from.

When I heard them I told God I didn’t know how to be still.

I tossed and turned wanting to obey what God put on my heart to do.

I thought how still do you want me to be? Do I miss church to be still? How long does it take for me to be still? Lost in the thoughts I realized I wasn’t being as he asked me to be.

Tossing and turning a little bit more. The gears stopped.

When I was called out of the stillness. I sat in appreciation to what was the first moment I felt everything had stopped.

For those of you who know me or read the blogs you’ll know I have a disorder which makes it to that 10,000 rapid thoughts fill my mind within moments.

So the stillness was refreshing.

For the first time in a long time the gears in my head stopped moving.

This wasn’t something I needed to do, or even wanted to do. It was something that just was.

My pastor gave an awesome message today on the Holy Spirit.

In that message he talked about the do’ers who constantly well do.

He cautioned them to not plan for God, but to be obedient of his calling.

This portion of the sermon among others resonated with me. I learned a valuable lesson today.

Stop and listen. God will take the lead in everything we need to do if we just are as he calls us to be in his presence. He also mentioned the story of Jonah which I just finished reading not that long ago.

Jonah ran away from God’s will and a lot happened as a result of that.

God had a dialogue with Jonah that questioned the way he was living (always on the run from God’s calling.) When we are not as he calls us to be we might just miss what he is doing.

I wonder how this morning would have gone. If I just heard be still and got up anyways. If I had written off his calling as my own thoughts and needs to rest. Would I have missed the opportunity to just be in presence.

Being still looks different for everyone but  is vital for the renewing of our mind.  S

Stillness results in peace, love, guidance.

Out thoughts results in leaning on our own understanding and not that of God’s

Being still allows us to take his guidance and use his wisdom with daily choices.


Challenge this week.
Listen to God in moments when he calls you to be still #justdoit just be.

As I was preparing to share the deepest parts of me I decided to only share what I was comfortable with. So many of us go through life feeling misunderstood,alone, and broken. My hearts heavy for that hurt. Maybe because it’s my own too. Last week I gave a talk about suicide but I wanted to edit my story. A kind person told me that with God you stop caring what other people think of you. I thought about this and wasn’t too sure what I would do with it. I was still very reluctant to share that part of me. My friends, my family, my co-workers would be there I didn’t want them to know how recent my struggles are. I ended up showing up that night with all of me. Not just the deepest parts but the goofy ones and the ones who say ummm and like a little too much. When I was speaking up there to what had to be over 70 people, I was initially nervous. However at some point (after prayer) a calmness entered me and allowed me to just be present. It’s interesting to me that I had this struggle. To disclose or not to disclose. But letting people in opened up something entirely new . Before that day, I walked as if I ALWAYS had to be strong, I HAD to have it together , and I CAN’T let anyone see me struggling. I get this image of walking like a ballerina on her tiptoes 24/7 imagine how hard that would be. Even walking in them for shorts amount of time opens them up to excruciating pain. Hmm had I been walking with that much pain when it wasn’t necessary? I believe so. I know something big changed since I began developing the sermon. I went through books and books trying to find the right story. Only to land in Jonah and thoughts . God was with him in all his irrational thoughts and behaviors. That’s what I focused on that night. God being present and helping Jonah battle his mind. At the beginning of church I decided to pray and ask God that I be present and he be present with me, to be open and honest. That allowed all of me show up. I’m not sure entirely what you will get out of this blog. I hope it’s the ability to understand that you are not alone, there is a community who loves you, and that I’ve been where you are only wanting to share what you’re comfortable with.I’ve learned how only sharing parts of me was due to a hint of shame. I learned how showing up and being present gives shame no power. So I’ll be present, because I’m not walking alone. However acknowledge the truth this is a process not a destination. Like Jonah we can’t control what’s around us but we can control who’s with us. Love you guys