Last May, I wrote a post titled the greatest love letter of my life in it I ended with the following
If I could give you one thing to replace all the many things it would be a mirror so you can truly see what it is you look like .
At the time I had no idea what I looked like.
I wrote that only a few short months after I decided that I had no hope.
I remember sitting at a coffee shop a lot like the one I am sitting at right now telling God that if he didn’t do something I would be “done.” No plan for a future whatsoever.
I use the word done to describe the place and state of mind I was at, but it might be downplaying the state of hopeless my heart was in.
I had no emotion, no connection to people or to life.
I didn’t share that with anyone either.
I sat with that feeling, but internally I might have been more afraid than I let on to be.
I have never felt so disengaged in my life.
I also didn’t realize at the time I gave God the power to take over my life.
At the time I had no plans for the future
Luckily God did…
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I asked God in the middle my struggle to do something because I couldn’t do anything.
The reality is I’ve learned that God does not give his heart in pieces.
I still have no idea where it is God is taking me but today he has taken me to this moment to reflect and share that he is there in it all, and through it all.
I can’t possibly express in one post all that he has done in this time. He has tested me and given me obedience. In ways I couldn’t possibly have imagined.