It’s interesting to see how emotions run every single one of us.
I’ve been dealing with a lot of thoughts and emotions lately.
I find it interesting that though I know how to manage my thoughts, at times they still get me.
I’ve been inviting God into those moments, because I know that what I am feeling isn’t his objective.
He’s been calling me to serve, yet I’m feeling as if I am not good enough.
It’s weird because I almost feel as if I heard someone say that I was fake.
For a minute I began to think they were talking about me.
I began to feel insecure.
The very next day I had convinced myself that another person of the group felt the same way because they walked right past me.
Like that the place I felt comfortable became the place I didn’t belong.
To be honest that hurt.
I wish I would have realized that regardless of the reality of the situation, God wants me to choose him.
I think that by overhearing a conversation that was or wasn’t intended for me. I realized the power of words, more so than before.
However I also realized that in my pain and hurt God wants me to choose him first.
I did choose him in this situation but after two days of being in my feelings.
If I’d choose God first more, things would change.
My emotions wouldn’t run me but God would.
He takes my emotions and experiences and gives them purpose.
In 1 Peter 1 exiles had be chosen to be used by God. They endured a lot. They were given something new and good. God didn’t go and erase what they had gone through but he gave what they have gone through a purpose. Their purpose was to show how good God is in the mist of those trials.
What we go through in life is about ups and downs. But there is something beautiful about God being in both parts. I have fallen before and not realized that he is everywhere so the rebuilding process looked a lot like me struggling to get back up. While getting up with God is like having a really good friend there to listen and help you make sense of things.
Though people may lose it all at times.It is good to know that God is with us. He rebuilds, and restores.
I reflected on that a few days ago no matter how big the trial or how small it may seem choose God first and he will guide you through the trial.
Dear God, thank you for staying by side until I was able to see that were there waiting for me to choose you first. Thank you being patient as I learn to seek you everyday. The new you are giving me is beautiful God I am not sure I would be able to live without it. I pray that I just continue to constantly seek you in everything that is good and everything that is bad. I love you, amen.